What makes me a loner




















So to counteract the previous section those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible , here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:. And that is …. The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed. In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path.

Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article. Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. After escaping the religious cult she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening.

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Receive our latest posts in your inbox! Also important work requires concentration. Being able to be alone, helps us practice concentration, study data, formulate ideas, figure out connections, and tests our thoughts, and allows space to sit on it awhile and look at it again. Great thought requires both dedication, rest and time for fun or unwind. Being alone enough us essential for both my well-being and success at my work.

Yes, absolutely. Thanks for sharing Deb. This hurts too. I have recently become a loner. But do I feel lonely? Do I feel depressed? Do I hate people? I have become a loner because I came to a point that I realized that the only time I had a conversation with anyone other than my wife is when I initiated the conversation. I was a long haul truck driver for 24 years. About 5 months before the Chinavirus.

And not 1 person has offered to buy me a cup of coffee or a slice of pie. Or join them for a meal. Being a loner doesn't mean that you don't want to keep in touch, it just means that you'd prefer to do it from a distance. You love getting to see all the highlights from your friends' lives—their weddings, their promotions, the birth of their children—but to you, it's information best accessed from behind a screen.

If you're a loner, you know that sleeping solo is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself—and you've got the just-big-enough-for-you-and-no-one-else twin bed to prove it. Why would you let someone snoring, flopping from side to side, and trying to cuddle you interfere with a good night's rest, anyway?

The three words you least want to hear from someone at the office aren't, "You've been fired," they're, "Drinks after work? There are few things you enjoy less than having a stranger come talk to you on the street. With that in mind, you favor clothing that's not flashy—you'd never be caught dead in a logo t-shirt or pants with writing on the butt.

When other people imagine their dream vacations, they imagine friends and family coming with them. For you, peak relaxation means flying solo the whole time.

In your mind, there's nothing better than sightseeing by yourself and getting to do everything on your own schedule. And when you want a relaxing solo trip, book your next vacation at one of the 20 Most Zen Places on Earth.

Just because you're a loner doesn't mean you don't have any friends. In fact, you have a great support network—albeit a highly curated one. Some are and some are not," says Koenig. You'd love to try SoulCycle and Zumba intrigues you—but for now, you're stuck pedaling and dancing alone in your living room. While you're not opposed to camaraderie, per se, the thought of having an instructor talk to you personally while you sweat it out, or any pressure to go for post-workout smoothies, isn't worth the risk.

Schedules are kind of your thing, so last-minute plans tend to get on your last nerve. You need to know that you'll have enough time to be alone, preferably both before and after any kind of social affair, so you never feel bad about turning down plans that only leave you a few minutes to get ready. Whether you're grocery shopping, at work, or just walking down the street, you can bet that your headphones are on.

In your quest to remain unbothered by strangers, you wear your headphones virtually everywhere you go, whether you're actually listening to music or not. To many people, hitting up a bar or cafe and ordering a libation alone is a sign that you've got a problem. To you, it's a totally acceptable way to enjoy a glass of wine. You come armed with a book, choose the spot where you think you're least likely to be bothered by other people, and enjoy the lack of company.

If you want to clear your head, you know there's no better way to do that than hitting the road solo with no destination in mind. While road trips with a group of friends or family members seem like a nightmare, getting behind the wheel alone is always a restorative experience for you.

There are few things you loathe more than having to make small talk. Those "how are you"s and "what's new"s are like nails on a chalkboard to you, and you'll never understand why people are so eager to fill dead space with meaningless chitchat. While you endure the drudgery of your 9-to-5, your ultimate dream is to work from home.

It's not the work itself that bothers you, after all—it's the constant interruptions from your coworkers and the expectation that you'll spend your precious free time outside the office socializing with them, too.

Fortunately, it looks as though things are looking up for loners in that department. According to research from Gallup, 43 percent of American workers said that they were allowed to work from home at least part of the time, up four percent from And if you have dreams of never commuting again, learn the 25 Work from Home Jobs with the Highest Salaries.

You're not the kind of person who spends their whole day talking to the people around you—in fact, you often realize that you haven't said more than a few words to other people over the course of an entire day. That said, when you do have a conversation with someone you trust, you tend to provide a lot of information all at once. But these are severe and involuntary cases of aloneness. For those of us who just prefer plenty of alone time, emerging research suggests some good news: there are upsides to being reclusive — for both our work lives and our emotional well-being.

One key benefit is improved creativity. One personality trait associated with creativity is independence — which can include a preference for being alone Credit: Getty Images.

One reason for this is that such people are likely to spend sustained time alone working on their craft. A recent vindication of these ideas came from University at Buffalo psychologist Julie Bowker, who researches social withdrawal.

Social withdrawal usually is categorised into three types: shyness caused by fear or anxiety; avoidance, from a dislike of socialising; and unsociability, from a preference for solitude. A paper by Bowker and her colleagues was the first to show that a type of social withdrawal could have a positive effect — they found that creativity was linked specifically to unsociability. They also found that unsociability had no correlation with aggression shyness and avoidance did.

Research has found that unsociability is linked to higher levels of creativity Credit: Photosbyphab at Nappy. There is gender and cultural variation, of course. For instance, some research suggests that unsociable children in China have more interpersonal and academic problems than unsociable kids in the West.

Bowker says that these differences are narrowing as the world becomes more globalised. But this depends — among other things, on the personalities of their employees.

One study showed that in branches of a pizza chain where employees were more passive, extroverted bosses were associated with higher profits. But in branches where employees were more proactive, introverted leaders were more effective. One reason for this is that introverted people are less likely to feel threatened by strong personalities and suggestions. Since ancient times, meanwhile, people have been aware of a link between isolation and mental focus.

After all, cultures with traditions of religious hermits believe that solitude is important for enlightenment.



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